Watch Your Head

My wife typically disputes my self-measurement at 5 feet, 3 inches tall as overly optimistic. I don't hear the words, "Watch your head," every day. The bunkbed commodity of a men's retreat allows me to measure myself differently.

So does this weekend's discussion of the Israelite leader Gideon in the Bible's book of Judges. When Rick, the discussion leader, asks how we, like Gideon, have been challenged by God to step out and do something different, I can set affirmation rather than just a challenge to further growth. I'm writing more, and writing more personally, as God has been challenging me to do for years. I don't yet measure at the stature to which I might aspire, but I'm not where I was. Measuring against 20 years ago, 10 years ago, or last year, I have to be reminded to, so to speak, watch my head.

With admitted growth comes admonition as well as affirmation. Watch your head. Watch, in this case, the thoughts that accompany the reality that you are growing. Gideon wants, craves, maybe idolizes, incremental affirmation. If you are God, he says, stay right here. If you are God, he implies, protect me in my by-the-letter affirmation of Your instructions which is hardly heroic evidence of Epiphany. Most famously, Gideon will put the Lord his God to to further tests. If it's you, God, let the fleece be wet, and the ground be dry. If it's you, before I make a move or rest in faith, God, let the fleece be dry and the ground be wet. Watch your head. Otherwise, such self-imposed tests can perpetually fill it and excuse immobilization from further action.

If stepping out to write this blog is a small measure of growing faith, I can also admit to Gideon's thirst for measurement of God's Presence at every step. If You are really in this, Lord, show me more page views. If You are really in this, Lord, get me more compliments. If You are really in this, Lord, use my words to prompt discussions. If You are really in this, Lord, get me compensation for my writing before I spend more than minutes or months improving in my craft. If You are really in this, get me a book contract, why don't You, before I bothered to focus in a sustained direction for more than a few minutes.

Those metrics help, no doubt. I really want to serve people as I serve God with my words, as Gideon really did want to celebrate God's Presence with him and to be empowered to free his countrymen. Even so, Gideon and I must watch our heads, lest measurements and confirmations become an end in themselves. We walk, and word, by faith, and not by sight. That challenge hasn't changed. As the hairs on my head are numbered, so the thought in it are God's to read, direct, and redirect.

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