2 Timothy 1:5 – Four Factors in Parenting by Faith
3 I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, 4 greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, 5 when I call to remembrance the [b]genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice… From 2 Timothy 1, New King James Version
Elyse Fitzpatrick in her influential parenting book, Give Them Grace effectively reduces the opposite approach. “We're very comfortable thinking, good parenting in, good children out.”
Since we are as permanent she says to reducing parenting, and relationships generally, to a pragmatic, manipulative formula which she has stated with such directness, I've decided to share four of her factors for parenting differently. Perhaps some of these distinguished the faith which Paul recalls dwelt in Timothy's mother Eunice as it did in his grandmother Lois.
1. “I thought parenting was going to reveal my strengths, never realizing that God had ordained it to reveal my weaknesses.”
The formulaic parent, or spouse, or friend seeks to enforce an outcome. As Fitzpatrick says, we go in with one intent, but we realize God is about another. We realize he is less about using us as a tool to shape a specific outcome in someone else than He is changing and humbling us as we recognize our limits.
2. “We need days of failure because they help humble us, and through them we can see how God's grace is poured out on the humble.”
As much as God uses day in, day out relationships to rid us of our delusions of strength and efficacy and to remind us of our limitations, He doesn't leave us in this frustrated place. Fitzpatrick is grateful, and we with her, that almost as soon as we realize what we CAN'T do, God shows us what He CAN do through us.
3. “I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.”
As we see God as more faithful than we can possibly be in the challenges of our relationships, we will more quickly yield tangled, tense moments to Him. When we realize that our words, unlike His, cannot enact change, we will cease to weary ourselves by pouring them out to human ears. Instead, knowing as Jesus said that we are not heard by our many words, our intercession will be like spiritual breathing, quick and constant.
4. “We are partners with our children because we are just like them, dearly loved sinners.”
Parenting by faith, she says, involve the realization that the same Gospel we are teaching those we influence still applies to us. Where we tend to cling to hierarchy and coercion in order to see ourselves as effective, she points to a spiritual parity. We both need grace. Both leader and led are often dealing with the same insecurities and same traps.
Elyse Fitzpatrick in her influential parenting book, Give Them Grace effectively reduces the opposite approach. “We're very comfortable thinking, good parenting in, good children out.”
Since we are as permanent she says to reducing parenting, and relationships generally, to a pragmatic, manipulative formula which she has stated with such directness, I've decided to share four of her factors for parenting differently. Perhaps some of these distinguished the faith which Paul recalls dwelt in Timothy's mother Eunice as it did in his grandmother Lois.
1. “I thought parenting was going to reveal my strengths, never realizing that God had ordained it to reveal my weaknesses.”
The formulaic parent, or spouse, or friend seeks to enforce an outcome. As Fitzpatrick says, we go in with one intent, but we realize God is about another. We realize he is less about using us as a tool to shape a specific outcome in someone else than He is changing and humbling us as we recognize our limits.
2. “We need days of failure because they help humble us, and through them we can see how God's grace is poured out on the humble.”
As much as God uses day in, day out relationships to rid us of our delusions of strength and efficacy and to remind us of our limitations, He doesn't leave us in this frustrated place. Fitzpatrick is grateful, and we with her, that almost as soon as we realize what we CAN'T do, God shows us what He CAN do through us.
3. “I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.”
As we see God as more faithful than we can possibly be in the challenges of our relationships, we will more quickly yield tangled, tense moments to Him. When we realize that our words, unlike His, cannot enact change, we will cease to weary ourselves by pouring them out to human ears. Instead, knowing as Jesus said that we are not heard by our many words, our intercession will be like spiritual breathing, quick and constant.
4. “We are partners with our children because we are just like them, dearly loved sinners.”
Parenting by faith, she says, involve the realization that the same Gospel we are teaching those we influence still applies to us. Where we tend to cling to hierarchy and coercion in order to see ourselves as effective, she points to a spiritual parity. We both need grace. Both leader and led are often dealing with the same insecurities and same traps.
profoundly counter-intuitive, since (by way of perspective), we are much more like our children than we are like the God to whom we must give an account. If hearts could be accurately X-ray'd (and I'm being honest here), parent Tim always thought of Himself very close to God and very much His representative who was to speak truth into the lives of my (His) children entrusted to me.... but GOD ALWAYS OPPOSES THE PROUD.... good word Brother!
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